If you are going through hell, keep going

14 Aug

That’s a Churchill Quote that is probably saving me..

The last time I wrote here, I said that I would get through this and there was something worst but that’s just really hard. So I decided to write everything that make me sad or mad.

My Dad : He is so living in another world, he don’t give me anything and he wants to control me. He is calling me 4 times a day to ask me if I have a job. He wants me to hang out with his girlfriend and keep saying that he is not happy that I’m having debts since I have no school debts. He said that he wants me to get a job before he leaves because he will feel bad if he goes on vacations and I’m here left without a job. 

Job : I don’t have a job and I’m tired of staying at home. I’m looking everywhere and making a hundred of calls. I’m just tired of people telling me to get a job in another field and move on. I studied in human resources. Isn’t normal that I want to work in the field ?

My dog : He ate a bone a month ago and everything was fine. Then on august 1st he started to have diarrhea. I just hope he will be okay, we tried 2 different pills, a new food. I have spent 160 $ and I hope he will get better so we don’t have to operate him. I don’t have a lot of money, and I’m worried to see him like that.

Money : Well money is my main concern. I’m trying really hard to get a job on weekends so I can have money to survive but no one is calling. I applied at groceries store and at various places at the mall. I’m have now a loan of 5000 $ and I hope that I won’t have to use it all. It’s the first time that I’m really poor and that money is only used to pay my food, my transportation and my basic stuff. My mom is doing what she can, she don’t earn a lot and I can’t blame her. She was a housewife like many ladies in the world. When my father left she couldn’t get a really high paying job. Her salary is enough to pay her car, food and house. Shes does my lunch and she come to pick me up at the train station so I don’t have to pay a bus ticket. She let me take her car without paying gas. I have to pay 260 $ each 2 weeks to pay my food, my car insurance, my dog food, and all the cable-cellphone and internet that I use. My dad was giving me this money before. Tv is my only distraction and I need internet to get a job, so I won’t cut it soon. It’s the first time in my life that I’m in debt and it’s hard to not use money to buy stuff that I like or just to go out. A lot of people tell me ; who cares that you don’t have a job, your mom is there to help you. I just answer yes since I don’t want to tell my whole story.  5000 $ is not a lot, but for me it is when I never had debts in my life. I thought that I had been through enough hard things in the last 21 years that It was the time for better things. I wasn’t meant to be.

But I have my health, well partially since I have been dealing with some health issues in the last week but still I’m overall healthy and tomorrow might be a better day. I’m happy to be living in Canada and not in Somalia. I have a bedroom and a computer and I’m not homeless.

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