5 months, 2 days

23 Sep

That’s the amount of time that I have been looking for a job. I don’t know if I have strength anymore. I had my periods 2 times last month and I didn’t have them yet this month. It has never happened before.

I try to be positive but nothing happen. Sometimes I wish I just could go away one week on a desert island, be with myself and sleep.

I’m so not proud, I did nothing during the last 5 months. I could have got in shape. No instead I’m 13 pounds over what I Want to weight.

I want to go out but I don’t have a lot of money anymore and I’m using my credit card a lot.

Friends don’t want to hear about your problems, so I try to cry when I’m on the shower and then I feel a little bit better after.

I feel so lonely.

I saw my dad for the last time yesterday. I won’t see him until March, and I guess It might be a good thing. I was so mad when he told me ; come on, I don’t work and no money is coming in. I was like are you kidding me ?? You are leaving for a 6 months vacations.

Then my love life ; I’m so happy that I woke up just in time. Last time, with the other guy, people were giving me advice and I didn’t listen to them. I decided to listen this time. I still speak a little bit to mister internet love but when I say ”speak”, I mean commenting each other statut. I did discover why he was single ; he spend all his time at work. I saw our mutual friend last sunday who told me how much of a sweetheart he was, but he is married to his job. So no thanks, but If I see him at a party, I will speak to him.

So I guess, I have to wait and try to keep my mental and physical health.

 

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