Tag Archives: broken heart

A dark call

20 Jun

Last Monday, I was suppose to spend a day with my dad alone and have fun since I have see him 3 times since the start the of the year. Some will say that they haven’t see there dad in years. Well  it wasn’t the way I was raised. Before I was fourteen, I was really spoiled, my dad spent more time with me and even the years after, he did spend some quality times with me. But it was hard to learn to pay for everything, my clothes, my kotex, all my stuff, since I never paid for it.

Well back to last monday, the day I was so excited about, my dad called me around 10 a.m.

He said, look I can go see you but really quick, because It suck for my gf to be left alone. (He started to date her in sept 2010)

It was the day we were suppose to spend together.

So I said with a calm nice voice : look you can call me another time when you will be able to spend time with me. And then he started….

You are so selfish, you are causing pain to a person that I love ( I saw the women 2 hours in all my life) She said why you daughter don’t like me. I said : I want to spend time with her, I’m happy that she is in your life (I really mean it, I don’t care if my dad has a gf he has to move on in his life.) but I would like to spend time with you alone too. I don’t ask for a week, just for a few hours.

My dad : I would never leave her one week to be with you. If I have to choose between you and her, I will pick my girlfriend for sure. Do you know how does it feel to be hurt, you hurt me and you hurt her. If you don’t stop now, you won’t see me today, not tomorrow, not for a while.  He told me that I needed help the way that i was behaving (I was crying) and I needed to see a psychologist as soon as possible.

After the call, I crying so much, I never wanted to see him again, I was so sad, I wanted to move really far so I wouldn’t have to see him ever again.

At 1 p.m, he came to my house with his gf, and we went to the restaurant, then shopping. He was kissing her, laughing with his girlfriend and asking me to take pictures of them. He never talked about what happened in the morning. He asked me if I was having a good time and if I was happy about my day. I barely answered.

Today, nearly one week later, I’m still hurt, even if my dad think we are good. I know from now on that If I want to see him, his gf will have to come. I will be hurt forever to think about what he said to me. I will never forget it and for the rest of my life I will have doubt about my dad love for me and the way he looks at me. Yeah he sure love me but not in the way that I thought.